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Waking Up From Waking Up

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It can be incredibly exciting when we first start to ‘wake up’ to the wonder that, “Yes. I am Presence. I am this Knowing. And yes, experience is not what I ever thought it to be. I don’t experience a world of solid, independently existing things. There is an ever fresh flow of colours, sounds, smells and tastes, of sensations, thoughts and feelings arising, that is indivisible from the Knowing of it, that includes the very ‘me’ I imagined myself to exclusively be! Yes! Yes! Wow!!!” For me, I was then lucky enough to meet my partner and have children and in the crucible…

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The Most Glorious Song of All

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I breath in this silent, formless, invisible breath… and as it flows out, my vocal cords come alive with vibration, chopping the breath into waves of sound, my head and chest buzzing with resonance, my mouth, tongue and lips sculpting the breath further giving rise to the sound of my singing voice, singing my song. And what is this music made of? That same silent, formless, invisible breath, shapeshifting into colourful, intricately detailed tones; it is the sound of silence. Our true essence is the silent, formless, invisible breath that gives rise to the music of life itself – to…

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The Real Fireworks

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Dear You Do You actually realise just how incredibly magnificent You are? How wonderfully marvellously extraordinarily spectacularly GLORIOUS You really really are?! For it is You, yes YOU, glittering as this ever-fresh kaleidoscope of experiencing, shimmering as this rich collage of colours, sounds, tastes, textures and smells, tingling as this vibrant body of sensation, giving birth to every particle of life from stars, planets, mountains and oceans, to the sparkling glint of an eye and the quickening of the heart. Even dreaming up the pretense that You are but a fraction of Your immensity, that You are unlovable, not enough,…

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Blossoming into Life

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In my mid twenties I went to drama school in London and at the end of the course we were to perform the play ‘Summerfolk’ as a showcase for acting agents. As the day of the first performance approached our director, who had been looking increasingly frustrated, suddenly stopped the rehearsal and gathered us all together. He told us the play was ‘dead’ and that he’d finally worked out why. Since being taken on by a good agent was seen as an important springboard into the acting business we were all feeling the pressure. As a result, to feel more…

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Monopoly

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As kids, my siblings and I would often get together with other children who lived on our street to play the board game Monopoly. Without fail, every game would evoke such wild extremes of behaviour that they strike me now as a wonderful analogy for the human condition. I’ll explain! You come into ‘the game’ having no clue whatsoever about how to play. Then you take on an identity: you are the top hat, thimble, racing car, boot, Scottie dog, battleship, iron or wheelbarrow. Uncertain and a little bewildered you make your first tentative steps around the board whilst everyone…

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One Taste

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If we’ve been attending spiritual groups for some time we may have noticed a frustrating pattern beginning to emerge. In the meetings we might experience all sorts of peaceful, loving, happy and expansive feelings, but as soon as we return to our busy lives it all seems to disappear without a trace and we’re left feeling frustrated and confused, often with a growing sense of futility and hopelessness as to hold onto ‘it’ seems like such an impossible task. So what is going on?

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Enjoying the Party

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A friend was telling me how she recently arrived at a party and didn’t know anyone there. Immediately she felt awkward, not good enough, ‘out of her power’. Sad and ashamed that as a grown woman she was still prone to feeling this way, and fearful that others might notice her awkwardness, she began forcing her behaviour – to try to make things different, to be rid of the discomfort, to not be ‘found out’.

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Game of Seduction

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It’s a sweet moment of clarity; the needing, grasping and clenching all fall away to reveal a wondrous, heartwarming sense of unity, of openness and ease. Then gradually we’re seduced again by our habitual, well-honed thought routines. Maybe it’s relentless self evaluation, comparisons with others, old stories of resentment and injustice, ‘profound’ thoughts that try to work it all out, or even a kind of ‘spiritual smugness’ in believing we’ve attained some ‘higher level’ of being.

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Sacred Digestion

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Don’t run from your suffering, don’t try to interpret it, or come to conclusions about it; hold it close, meet it directly, feel the beauty of its wild intensity; savour the flavour and eat it up, yes eat it up! It’s food for awakening; for in that sacred digestion, all breaks down to Love.

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The Greatest Show on Earthlessness

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Imagine an actor who has forgotten they are acting, who believes that they literally are their character and that the circumstances of the play are real. Every challenging scene, every uncomfortable mixture of thoughts, feelings and sensations now feels deeply threatening and in drastic need of escaping, giving rise to all kinds of mental suffering. Then suddenly they remember their real identity again – they are the actor! They are entirely free from the limitations of the play and always were; they could never be defined or threatened by any of its make-believe characters or scenes. So too when we identify…

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